It makes sense to feel like you should be happy on a day like Christmas. But if you aren't happy there is a reason for that and I want you to know that it is okay to be sad. Allow yourself to feel whatever you have to feel. Don't convince yourself that you have to feel better just because it's Christmas or any other holiday. Rape knows no bounds and the pain we get from it knows no holidays. Calling a hotline may help or even typing to a IM online if that would make you more comfortable.Sometimes it really helps just to have someone to listen.
Love and Light